The dangers of social media normalising weaponised incompetence

Having a healthy and joyful marriage is not only possible but should be the norm. Society has unfortunately normalised difficult and unhealthy relationships to the extent that men often get away with the bare minimum, weaponising their feigned incompetence and not putting in the effort required for a fulfilling relationship.

Weaponised incompetence is a tactic where one partner (majority of the time men) intentionally performs a task poorly or not at all to avoid taking responsibility for it or to make their partner take over the task. This behaviour is abusive and can be used to control or manipulate the partner & avoid fulfilling responsibilities in the relationship. It highlights the underlying complete lack of care and being devoid of empathy.

It is important to recognise the harmful impact of social media on perpetuating these damaging behaviours within relationships. Sadly, many jokes and videos circulate on these platforms that normalise men not taking responsibility for childcare or domestic chores, as well as normalising dislike for one's partner and avoiding spending time with them. This type of content is damaging and should not be humoured or normalised. It is concerning that this content is being consumed by impressionable young people who may end up believing it is acceptable. You don’t have to scroll far before such videos find you.

Furthermore, men who already exhibit such behaviours are also indulging in this content, which only validates their actions and reinforces their belief that it is acceptable since it is a widespread occurrence. However, the most disheartening aspect of it all is how victims of weaponised incompetence find comfort in this content as it makes them feel they are not alone, and allows them to rationalise that ‘this is just how men are’.

This is evident in the comments section of such content, where you can find a range of comments finding humour in it. This unfortunately minimises the devastating impact, unbeknownst to the victim.

It's also worth noting that weaponised incompetence is often even celebrated in certain social circles. Men may bond and joke over their mutual mistreatment of their partners, normalising and continuing to perpetuate it. This is a horrifying aspect of the issue, as it shows how deeply ingrained these abusive behaviours can become.

This ties directly into the infantilisation of men in relationships, where they are treated like an extra child. It is a harmful dynamic that absolves them of their fair share of work and care. This pattern can stem from societal expectations of gender roles and leads to resentment, inequality, and a lack of respect in the relationship.

It is important for both partners to recognise and address any imbalances in responsibilities and work towards a healthy and equitable partnership.

It is also crucial to remember that healthy relationships and marriages are possible, and we should not settle for a burdensome situation because our society/community dictates so.

It is extremely overdue to challenge these harmful widespread norms and promote healthy relationships and marriages.

A fulfilling and healthy relationship should not be a privilege, but rather a baseline standard. You deserve to have a partner who adds to your happiness and is fully committed to your well-being.